Saturday, September 12, 2009

Stepping out in Greek Underwear

It's dangerous to teach with an antihistamine hangover.

Ever since I began teaching, I've dreaded the day that I forget "who" or "where" I am and say something REALLY inappropriate. I've felt the danger escalate this year as I've become more and more comfortable in my role. Sometimes I notice myself letting down my guard. This is dangerous, indeed!

And really, when discussing Greek mythology, the mind really goes into uncharted territory. So when I started talking about "Greek Underwear" (instead of the Greek underworld) in class the other day, I shouldn't have been surprised.

Thankfully, the debacle provided me with a humorous anecdote to begin a speech that I was giving that evening. What wasn't so humorous, however, is that my microphone didn't work, so I was reduced to yelling and comparing my distinguished audience to a "group of ninth graders that I have to yell at anyway."

I'd be lying if I didn't tell you I cried a little bit that night.

Moral: "Don't speak publicly with an antihistamine hangover." Otherwise, you might feel like you stepped outside in your "Greek Underwear."

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Crazy Ladies and Pears

How would Monica blog?

"Stiney stole pears from the neighbors. He's doing well with his Rhetoric and Classical Languages, but I'm worried about him. All I can do is hit my knees, and earnestly cry out to my Father God for his repentance."

I've never been a big fan of Christian "parenting books." Sure, I have my personal favorites, but somehow Christian "How-To" books really tend to irritate me. Sometimes I think that women of the past had the better idea. They weren't looking ANYWHERE BUT UP for their information. This crazy little thing called the Internet doesn't help matters. We're constantly trying to diagnose, figure it all out, and get a "plan."

Well, I have a plan, alright. As we enter the teen years with a crazy vengeance at the Fisherstines, beware. If you see me walking around Wal-Mart mumbling to myself, well, I'm actually holding a never-ending dialogue with the ONLY one who has the PERFECT answers.

And, again, please think better of me than my daughter does. Oftentimes, she hears me cry, "OH, GOD!!!" I'm immediately chastised for swearing, all the while explaining to her that unlike the flippant schoolgirls of the Disney Channel, I'm actually . . . PRAYING!!! IMAGINE THAT!

So, I'm going to pray like Monica, even if it makes me appear like the "Crazy Lady Down the Street, or a Disney Debutant"