Friday, February 29, 2008
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Monday, February 25, 2008
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Wrong. Hey news people. Please don't say that taking a car out of "park" and sticking your head out of the window to bark at a passing squirrel and then licking yourself qualifies as "driving." When headlines outshine stories, the headlines in question should be changed. Once again, I feel cheated. You may call it naivete if you like, I call it TRUST. My hope for humanity is lost. Ahhh....my heart breaks for the poor soul who built my hopes up only to let me down. How do you live with yourself? Put your car in drive and cruise away from the dark side.
Friday, February 22, 2008
Wow... This makes me laugh and sad all at the same time. I have felt very convicted during my worship time at church after someone showed me this a few months ago. Made me evaluate WHY I worship. Thankfully, I realize that the Psalmist used a PLETHORA (thank you Three Amigos for this useful word) of personal pronouns, so I realize they aren't in and of themselves "evil." However, I have found myself distracted by them lately. I think this video is HILARIOUS, but if you're easily offended, DON'T WATCH IT!!!!!
Thursday, February 21, 2008
If we had to live on my income (a teacher or social-worker), I'm pretty sure our family of six would be below poverty level. It's really too bad, because SNAP he'd be such a better housewife than I am!!! This guy is full of nurturing instincts. Today, he came home from work (at 8:30pm) and decided to bake a few potatoes, because he noticed they were on the verge of going bad. He boiled the rest and made mashed potatoes, and then "made good use" of the chicken I "bought" from the grocery store yesterday by peeling all of the meat off the bones, and making chicken salad complete with pecans, grapes, and green apples.
Please don't ever ask him about his favorite household appliance- the Rainbow Vac, because it's getting old and I'm sure he thinks of it as our first child. He does things like "vacuuming walls" with it.
Pretty #3 wanted a bite to eat tonight, and he insisted that she sit down and let him serve her, because "she's a princess." Conversely, I'm generally known to say, "You know where the bowls are, be independent!"
Gee we're lucky to have him.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Today, I observed a license plate that said this: BIGRACE. I honestly don't know what this means. Does it mean Big Grace, or Big Race? I don't know what to contemplate regarding these words. The implications of the opposing answers carry very different connotations. Therefore, I will be eternally bothered by the old guy's intentions.
A certain unnamed someone seems to share my fascination with the use and misuse of statements. Don't ask me who this someone is because I will take the secret of his/her identity to my grave (well...maybe not).
While I can't share this individual's intense PASSION for the ABSURDITY of the following statement, I agree that it is positively idiotic. Chew on this: "Authorized Personnel ONLY." I'll give you a minute to think about that.
If they are authorized, do they need to be told that they are "authorized?" Clearly, authorized personnel already know that they are authorized, so it is unnecessary to point that out to them. If the message is in fact for everyone else, just cut the "nice guy vague ambiguous shenanigans," and just say "Keep Out."
Oh well, I'll just use the standards of BIGRACE to evaluate the mental clarity of those involved in coming up with these things........ tee hee hee.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
I don't be undersandin it.
Not un bit.
Wha??? Wha??? WHa????
Sumin, pleez be tellin meh.
Wha dem kidz be gettin all up in each uthers face?
They brudus. And Sistus.
God be givin em to eachuthu.
Wha aint they seein dat?
I'z turd uv it.
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Gasoline to Austin-$180
Fee to train at a Gym-$120
Clinical Stength Deodorant-$8
Running HALF of a big race and finishing near your big SWEATY brother, Priceless.
Honestly, running 13.1 is a walk in the park compared to 26.2. I'm not really sure it's appropriate to call them both "marathons"- even with the word HALF in front of one. 13.1 is hard(ish), but doesn't even TOUCH the demands of 26.2. Still, it is fun and requires some preparation.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
A few of you might know just how much I HATE HATE HATE HATE HHHHAAAATTTTEEE shopping. I'd rather stick a pin in my arm. Really. I realize this is part of the problem. I've considered giving someone money to just "buy" clothes for me. If I could afford it, I would definitely use the services of a personal shopper. I often need friends along to help me make wise clothing choices...even down to picking out the right SIZE. This seems very complicated to me. Mr. Clydie-pooh and I like to shop for the girls for Christmas. HE is the one going "OH, just look at this dress, isn't it adorable? Wouldn't she just look adorable in it? .... We HAVE to find a super-cool shirt for her to wear with these pants. Wow! Did you see this? Buy that and save it till summer." Me.... "blah blah blah. let's buy something and GO! Is there a coffee shop around here?"
So the other day, feeling a mounting pressure to refrain adopting nick-names from my students ie: "Crazy-Hair," "Stain-Lady," or "Frumpy-Teach," I decided that I might do a little shopping. Of course, I was immediately drawn to the 80% off rack. I couldn't exactly put my finger on WHY I wasn't finding anything I liked, so after spending several minutes in other areas of the store, I returned the single shirt I had considered purchasing to it's friends on the 80% off rack. On the end of the rack, I noticed an adorable shirt that said: "Who needs Santa when you have Grandma?" Revelation: Apparently I'm drawn to the same section of the store as 65 year old ladies. hmmm.....
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
I had already been chastised once today by this particular student for my incessant need to use "big words." However, when we were later discussing expressing love by "entering someone's world," I "wisely" gave a second example.
me- "It's like...you don't necessarily trust condescending advice from people who just want to 'tell you how it is,' because you may think that they simply don't understand your perspective. It's nice to feel that they actually care about your experiences and make an attempt to meet you where you are."
student-"what does condescending mean?"
me- "It's sort-of like when someone talks down to you. They can't just simply enter your world. ...wait...stop...ha ha...O! the irony."
Monday, February 11, 2008
Sunday, February 10, 2008
After our obligatory naps, we were blessed by:
A Science Fair that prompted us to spend hours with our children when we should have been "working" instead. Dad and boy building in the garage. Mom and girl measuring and recording. Big smiles, grateful hearts, and shouts for joy when we realized Aristotle had it right, and we can prove it!
A dirty dog that prompted father-son bonding. Wash. Treat. Dry. Trim. Giggle (yes I did say father-son and giggle in the same line).
Long blonde hair braided at night so it will be "set" to match a friend tomorrow at school.
Writing stories about "My Family" for 2nd grade class: "My family likes to laugh and talk." Grocery shopping (for upcoming Leave it to Beaver) week -just the two of us girls-, with smiles and conversation.
Big blue eyes that need kissing before bed, and an imagininative mind that constantly seeks to have God clarified. "But God isn't actually like an egg, because an egg has FOUR parts--a shell, the white part, the yellow part AND SKIN, MOM!! So see, I told you, God is NOT like an egg."
No. Not like an egg at all.
Saturday, February 9, 2008
Two weeks ago, at the gentle suggestion of a sweet friend, I MADE A MEAL PLAN FOR THE WEEK (see PTSD post). I bought groceries according to the plan, and we had such a "Leave it to Beaver" week, I had to check my image in the mirror a few times just to make sure I was the mom in the story. Luckily, there is a mirror in our dining room, so I could verify this fact WHILE eating the meals that I prepared.
I've created a plethora of elaborate meal plans, but rarely stick to them. Therein lies the problem. It is not enough to make plans, you have to actually EXECUTE those plans. Anyway, this last week, I just thought I'd "wing it," and because of this, it was like a reality TV show at my house. What makes Reality TV interesting? Extremes. Either extreme neurosis or extreme chaos. Pick one.
Tomorrow (because why do today what you can put off until tomorrow?), I will make a plan for next week. Because of this plan, my home will be the picture of serenity, organization, and family bonding. Reminders in the form of metaphorical or actual slaps would be appreciated. I am the unfortunate picture of Romans 7:14-20 (if having a meal plan makes you a "better" Christian). You can't talk me out of the reality that not nurturing of my family appropriately (spiritually AND physically) is a sin. Like I said, SLAP AWAY.
Thursday, February 7, 2008
This philosophy does wonders for my cautiously optimistic view of life. However, I'm haughty, proud, and down-right puffed-up about one thing. I'm a peacock strutting about, and I expect this fact to be noticed by someone that I PAY to complement me.
Mr. Dentist, when a 36 year old woman has NEVER HAD A CAVITY, do you think that you could find some affirmation greater than "keep up the good work" ? My hopes are crushed when you don't FULLY APPRECIATE my lack of DECAY. Jeepers, throw me a bone here. I waited for the accolades, but there was silence instead. Later, I saw you mindlessly playing RuneScape on your computer while listening to your iPod. Ahh..you young foolish boy. My heart aches for you.
Is my level of dental cleanliness an everyday occurence? Shouldn't my teeth be featured in some sort of national dental publication? I don't know... I feel used....for money. Is our relationship only important if I become NEEDY? Oh, I get it now--you're co-dependent. You only develop professional relationships with patients who have "cavities," or "gingivitis." I feel so USED!
We will continue to see one another once every six months, and although I have no idea what your name is (and probably never will), I will never forget that....I was invisible to you.
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Growing up, we did things like "band," "youth-group," and "eating-out." When my brothers went to college, they played intramural sports, but I did not. I remember watching them play some "game" a couple of times, and all I remember, is that they had a LOT of testosterone, that was translated into SCRappy stick-to-itiveness, and a great deal of ANGER.
Basically, we learned to endure. Stick with it. My most athletically gifted brother must not feel all of the angst that the other four of us do (repressed unfulfilled athletic prowess), because although his knees prevent him from participating in marathons with the rest of us, he doesn't seem bothered by it in the least (I personally realize that he would be the best if his body would allow him to run). He has previously proven his superiority in the athletic arena (sorry you other three, I don't make the facts, I just report them). This was proven at the appropriate time-- during his early twenties.
The amazing discovery for every one of us--in our late 30's to late 40's, is that we can "Run, Rovy, Run!!!" I wonder what we could have done if we would have started this at a "normal" time in life? Mick got us started, Allen keeps us motivated, Nate keeps us challenged, and I just keep tagging along. My niece Amber has qualified for Boston. Aubrie is just little miss dedication. In addition, Kurt's wife Deb is a cracker-jack runner! Our running keeps my parents motivated to keep walking-taking excellent care of their diabetes.
The grand blogosphere will undoubtedly be subjected to more chatter on this topic in the future from the baby of a family of five. I personally am simply a "finisher," with nary a hope of ever being "fast," so it's not about a fast finish for me, but the journey. Don't ever EVER delude yourself that I'm "athletic," because that, dear, would be a laughable falsehood.
I've gained a fair amount of weight since last fall during the "season," and I'm struggling with knee and shoulder issues. But shucks, if running 26.2 keeps me connected with these four boys that I have idolized and adored since I was a burping, spitting babe, as well as a few ladies that are on the top of my list (other Rovenstine females), I'll just keep running. Besides, it means I can drink soda and junk food and keep burping and spitting.
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
I was thinking, however, that I could create a new refrigerator magnet to replace the "101 Ways to Praise Your Child" magnet on my (garage) fridge. It would be called "101 Ways to Annoy Your Child." Here are some ideas that I've been testing out off and on for the last few years:
1.) Give your children a blank stare while humming one note continuously while they ask you for the 10th time if they can play video games (or now...WebKinz).
2.) Sing loudly and off key to the radio while your children fight in the back seat during evening taxi duty.
3.) Tell them they must wait until "payday" until you buy them essentials such as toothpaste and socks. Buy it for them anyway.
4.) Change chore guidelines at least every other week.
5.) Squirt them with waterguns in the morning when they don't get up by the 3rd call.
6.) Randomly insist that all communication must be in the form of a "song." DO NOT RESPOND TO "talking."
7.) Hope that your children fight so that you can assign them jobs around the house as punishment. Provoke them if necessary (just kidding).
8.) Continue hugging them even if they think they are "too big" (they are secretly glad you are doing it).
9.) Write about them on the World Wide Web.
10.) Just "be yourself" with no discretionary parental filter.
Sunday, February 3, 2008
I think that the transparency that is required in my family of origin was a precious gift. I never felt threatened by Fools Hill! It helped that the Rovenstine's were always confident that every little mountain climber would eventually reach that summit. It was simply a question of..."when?"
Just trying to keep up the tradition, today I asked my teenager-this-year if he realized he will be climbing Fools Hill soon. Mono-tone, dry response with a slight twisted smirk: "Of course, you've only told me that about a hundred times."
See...I can't climb that hill for him. He must do it for himself. The best part about Fools Hill, though, is that it's sort-of a period of discovery and fun. It is nasty at times...storms come, thorns get stuck on your britches, and there is blood and sweat. Along the journey, however, there are sunrises, sunsets, Nacho-Libre adventures into the "wilderness" (personal isolation in the next room), and crazy survival antics. I'm rather looking forward to being a spectator and a consultant as he climbs that big-ole Hill. I'm laughing already. I'm sure he'll come out on top.
Friday, February 1, 2008
Spenser's Charissa was the epitome of Christian charity. She taught the Redcross Knight, in his quest for holiness, to nurture and care for his spirit- to seek holiness and flee from evil. She had many children hanging about her, and she was kind and generous. You can read the entire passage: http://en.wikisource.org/wiki/The_Faerie_Queene/Book_I/Canto_X
I wonder if my Uncle Tim and Aunt Roberta named their daughter after this character? I cannot imagine anyone else in all my literary readings who better represents my real-life-cousin Charissa! I realize this may be an ambiguous post, but if you know Charissa Urban, and you can understand Spenser's Faerie Queen, I'm sure you'll agree the similarities are positively uncanny.
My delight wasn't in this particular character, per se, so much as it was in the fact that I wondered if Spenser had looked into the heart of my own dear cousin Charissa. I am delighted that she and her dear husband Johnny are the proud new parents of Ava Alina Grace Urban! They are on their way home. Their story is amazing and inspiring. You can keep up with the transition by visiting her blog- Urbansworld.blogspot.com
Conversely, we must only DIP into salsa, taking whatever means necessary to prevent eating a "chunk." Perhaps if it were possible to simply CHEW on a tomato without actually ingesting it, he could be inticed to use his mandibles on said fruit.