Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Hillbilly Air Conditioning

Please try to overlook the dirty fan...it just came in out of our garage, and honestly...it was RUNNING when this pic was taken...so I didn't notice the dirt. The pan is an OLD pan (did you notice?) that we keep for occasions such as these. I was tempted to refrain from posting this, but honestly, how could I resist? In addition, I think the dirt adds to the hillbilly effect. PLEASE DON'T EVER ACCUSE OUR FAMILY OF NOT BEING CREATIVE. My husband came up with this contraption. Our fan blew out on our AC. I would be a liar if I didn't tell you that I actually LIKE the fact that we are "roughing it." I keep telling him..."let's wait to fix it until June...I actually am having fun." He's not having fun. He's going to get the fan tomorrow. Dern Yankee.
Goodbye Hillbilly Air. Thanks for keepin it real. My sweat and I will miss you.

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Summertime Gremlins

(Don't worry Chandy, I'm working on filling out the questionnaire and you can look forward to an awe-inspiring answer soon... ) In the meantime...

My children are Gremlins. I don't even know what that means, because I don't remember anything about Gremlins, except they're furry and crazy. Mr. Clyde made this observation last night at 12:20am.

You see, I have a problem. It's called: Summertime Freedom. For some reason, I see summer as one continual party. It seems that ANY bedtime is appropriate, and I even found myself asking Mr. Clyde to buy me CHOCOLATE at 11pm. This is NOT something that I normally do (and NO, there is not a cat in the bag in this part of the woods). Perhaps this is why I like teenagers so much...I share their desire for novelty and fun. That reminds me...I'm not sure if it was lack of sleep or if this is really funny, but one of the teens showed me a video at about 1:00am, and I cried SO hard when I watched it. My face was WET with tears of joy and laughter. I just now watched it again, and it doesn't seem funny at all. I was going to post the video, but I noticed there were a couple of "curse" words, and I'm leaving it out in honor of the Gremlins who read my blog. If you're a "grown up," you might enjoy the video. It's YouTube "Food Court Musical." Hope you enjoy it. Here's to SUMMERTIME FUN!

Tuesday, May 20, 2008


I'm in Chicago on the "senior" trip with students from my school. Opportunities for reality checks abound.
  1. I do not know their music.
  2. They actually think I know what I'm doing here.
  3. They do not know my music.
  4. I need to text message more (apparently).
  5. I prefer comfy shoes to cute shoes.

If I needed to be reminded that I am a grown-up, this did it. Not only am I grown, but I'm GROWN. I'm grown, because for the first time in years, I actually think they (teens) have this secret society that I don't understand.

We're having a blast, and I've managed to be the grown up, and I don't even feel cheated because of it! Reality check: I'm grown up.

Friday, May 16, 2008

Don't feed the monster....

WARNING: The following post is in no way a pre-meditated attempt at any form of humor whatsoever. If you need a chuckle, go to you-tube and search for something to make you laugh. I daresay that comedy will not be contained in this post.

Ahh....glorious conflict. I was recently reading my nephew's Facebook, and noticed that he had joined a group called something like this: "For all the people who like to be throwing their stuff around, and then when I'm all ready to go hulk on them, they wimp out." The fact of the matter is, the group was filled with swear words, but you get the point. I "get it" that my nephew has this amazing sense of humor, and I got a "tearful" laugh (the best kind) after reading all of the entries from people who joined that group. Since then, however, I find myself saying (like...a lot), "Okay, I'm going to look into this, but if it doesn't work out, I'm gonna go HULK." My husband has told me I'm no longer allowed to use the terminology "I'm gonna go HULK." I honestly don't know why. I think it's a cute phrase.

The point is- Why is it that when there is conflict, we tend to choose between two responses? We either retreat into our shell, or we "go HULK." Maybe this isn't the experience everyone has, but being the extremist I am, this is my unfortunate methodology. However, since teaching at a classical school, I have gained a new appreciation for the necessity of examination. It is very important to know that TRUTH is rarely on the surface, and must be SEARCHED out. This often involves painful digging. If it's really deep, perhaps dynamite and explosives are necessary to get to the root of the problem. Why are we so afraid of discussion these days? I want to be open to hear things I don't want to, but at the same time, I don't want to constantly be worried about "hurting someones feelings." Hey...is the phrase "hurt feelings" in the Bible? Just curious.

There is a time for honesty...graciously applied. Hulk can stay home, but so can the turtle.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Today is Mr. Mc Man's Birthday.

Apparently, the "buffalos" in the background need to be killed by this little warrior. He clearly is ready for the hunt, and I know that mean look sent them to their death.
Here is the cutest little thing I've ever seen. I realize that I'm prejudice, but I gotta tell you, anyone who is that good with a wagon is a friend of mine. You don't see a knife and a saw in the back of the wagon, because let's face it, that would be plum irresponsible for me to let him try to "saw" down a tree. I mean, really...we're not living in 1731. His hand on the handle of the saw doesn't mean anything....

If you need any "hunting" done around your house, you know who to call... Not only is he a buffalo hunter, but a master craftsman, as evidenced by this creation.

Monday, May 12, 2008

Hide the Granola

I betrayed someone that I love very much, and I need to confess. There is a cathartic effect associated with public humiliation, and as I very much desire to be relieved of the guilt, I think I need to just "get it out there."

Here it goes....

This is hard but necessary....

I have a secret addiction. This addiction has been weighing heavily upon me through the years. Rovenstine Taco's and I have been secretly meeting , and as a result, I have hurt someone that I love very much. Granola with Berries and Walnuts, I really love you, but honestly--sometimes, you just don't have the spice that I'm looking for. The fact is, I try to resist Rovenstine Tacos, but I feel helpless to resist the greasy advances.

It's the classic binge cycle. Put it off. Try to resist. Just forget about it. "It's not advocado season, it won't work." Distract yourself with carrots. Try to eat a banana. Big Salads are nice.

"Resistance is futile. You know you want a soft, greasy, meaty, cheesy bite. Just go ahead. Buy the corn shells. Ask the kids what they want for dinner. They'll say it. Then it won't be your fault. It's Mothers Day...go ahead...ask them for suggestions for lunch."

Hide the scale. Leftovers are heaven. Eat them for a snack. Eat them before bed. Eat them after school. Make 'em greasy....

Hide the granola. The granola can't watch this......

Friday, May 9, 2008

Should They Really Be Called Weekends?

Because I really feel that it is not the weak-end. It seems to be the strong-end. Friday is my "dia de rejuvenation." This means (if this could possibly be....possible), that I try very hard to have NO agenda on Friday nights. Gone are the days of my social calendar. Lost are the "Blockbuster Excursions" (thanks Netflix), and adios to "fabulous" Friday.

Friday is my "I'm allowed to melt into a puddle" day. Today after school, I took a nap from 5-6:30pm. This type of irresponsible sleep schedule is available on only one day. The day that says to me : "You don't have to do anything today, because you have an entire weekend before you to catch up on that list. Besides, didn't you and your children clean the entire house LAST weekend? Look at it--- the house is filthy again, you stinkin' slob....you might as well put off cleaning it until tomorrow, because really, what's the point? You're a hopeless domestic goddess."

But you see...Friday can talk to me like that, because Friday is a good friend. Our relationship is based on openness and honesty, so we don't hide things from each other. Friday accepts me, and I no longer ask it to "give me a good time." I still have to hide part of my "real" feelings from Tuesday. We've been in a relationship for 37 years, but honestly it's empty.

Friday, you are my hero....strong because you let me be weak.

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Mommy Therapy

I love recollecting my first baby shower. I was working at a mental health clinic, and my co-workers went together and purchased a car seat. One of the cards that was attached read, "I'm sure your children will need minimal amounts of therapy."

I "laughed" to myself at the time, honestly thinking... "I hope they need NO therapy." As the years have gone on, however, I have often found myself struggling with infamous "Mommy guilt," as I realize I am woefully imperfect. I am reassured when I realize that the BEST lessons in life will be directed in ways that I cannot orchestrate, and will be taught by their Father. Somehow, however, I manage to find things to feel guilty about....

*I feel guilty that I haven't had a sleepover with my little Fishies in the "Big Room" for several weeks.

*I feel guilty that we haven't taken a family bike-ride in months.

*I feel guilty that I refuse to buy my children jeans because summer is just around the corner...and I KNOW they will never put them on ONCE in the Oklahoma heat. Thus, they may be gaining a reputation for being the "ratty" kids at school.

*I feel guilty that I haven't taken Big Bub out for an "Eggberts" midnight date in months.

*I feel guilty that it seems to take an act of congress to encourage me to keep milk in the refrigerator. What happened to milk DELIVERY? SIGN ME UP!!!

I heard teachers say in the past, the cliche-- " I like teaching for three reasons, June, July, and August..." but I have to say that although I can't imagine loving a job more (because I truly never have), I am GREATLY looking forward to a LOT of time with the little Fishie's this summer! I'm not sure who needs "Mommy Therapy" more. Me? or Them?

Monday, May 5, 2008

Potential Post Topics:

If I love vegetables so much (and I do), why don't I eat a bushel a day? Oh. And I planted a garden. Because I'm domestic (ha ha).

It's 1984, and I'm the VP of the Y-Teens. It's time for the "party-line." We danced to Tonight I'm Gonna Party Like It's 1999, at midnight. I want to have another dance party. Is that wrong?

Is it possible for me to have psycho-somatic senioritis? Or is this just another symptom of premature midlife crisis?

How long could I sleep if I had NO interruptions? Really. Because it's been several years since this was an option.

Why is it that I feel like I need 2 months to get everything done around my house that I need to do, and then I complete everything I can think of doing in 3 days?

Am I the only person who thinks that the Osage Hills State Park pool is the best summer spot?

Again... is it just me, or is staring into the eternal abyss of boredom actually FRIGHTENING?

Why aren't there sidewalks that actually GO somewhere in this town? There's really no place in the woods that I want to travel.

My husband told me: "I think I'm going to buy you a scooter to do your errands in. Could you go grocery shopping with a scooter?" Ummm.... NO.

Friday, May 2, 2008

Me & My Girls

Tonight was one of those nights that just makes a gal like me want to cry. It's the end of their senior year, and I have to say that they probably have no idea how much I love and admire each one of them. They're bright, beautiful, and sincere girls. I feel like my little sisters or nieces are moving away...and I'm so attached! I'm proud of these ladies for allowing God to work in their lives.

Thursday, May 1, 2008

Imaginary Playtime is a Way of Life...

Teaching Instructions--How to handle the slightest hint of praise:

When students get all excited about how they are going to include literature selections from your class as introductory and explanatory antidotes for their Senior Thesis, it will most likely get you pretty excited.

And then they might decide to tell you all about it on a particularly stressful day. Instead of saying something like, "I think that would be a fascinating observation, and would be well received by the judges," you could do this instead...

"THANK GOD!! By all means, use as MANY literary allusions and references as you possibly can, because that would give me job (and then with a little unidentifiable accent) sec.ur.iteeeya!" Uncomfortable laughter with "telling" glances to other senior students in the foyer may occur.

Keep in mind that this scenario happens best in the MAIN foyer of the school, but you, the teacher won't realize your boundaries at this moment. Again, stress and insomnia have made your reaction and decision making abilities the equivalent of someone who is legally drunk (but, [for those ACS people out there] who ISN'T).

Don't stop talking, either....just keep it up. Next, you need to pantomime a cave-man eating a big t-rex drumstick. Also, you need to talk like a pirate and shut one eye. "Literature is meat, I tell ye...give 'em some MEAT, I say!" and then growl, while eating your "meat."

Finally, do a little jiggy dance. Walk away. What is that noise in the background? Is there something happening in the foyer? Ask yourself: "Did that just happen?" Ahh... but these moments happen all too often.

I'm Mrs. Fishie, and this is my story.